Thu 21 Apr 2011
Sitting near Darci Madison on the school bus is enough to put anyone with woman-sprout issues over the edge. Sure, she might wear a push-up bra, but the point is that she has more than enough there to push up. I, on the other hand, don’t. I glance down to critique my Kleenex sculpture . . . and can’t help but compare her jiggle to my stationary tissue wads.
Tormented by the abundant boobage sitting across from me, I hesitatingly admit to myself that yes, I am an addict. I’m not a drug addict— no, too risky and expensive. I’m not a sex addict— please, I haven’t even had a decent make-out session sans drool and cheap cologne. Something that others blow their noses into happens to be my addiction of choice. I, April Bowers, am a tissue-wasting, size-34C-obsessed bosom sculptor. Yes, I confess . . . I am a bra stuffer.
As I ponder the injustice of having a bellybutton that sticks out farther than my 34AA chest, I begin to wonder if instead of growing out, my boobage is growing inward. Maybe if I were inside out I’d have the body of a goddess.
What a fantastic theory.
My brief smile is abruptly halted by a speed bump that makes Darci’s ginormous boobs heave from her chest. A panic bubble lodges in my throat as the bus slows to a stop. The bus driver opens the door with a shrewd grin. She watches me in the rearview mirror as I approach the exit.
Excerpt© 2011 Amy Holder
At Penford High School, Britney Taylor is queen bee. She dates whomever she likes, rules over her inner circle of friends like Genghis Khan, and can ruin anyone’s life as easily as snapping her perfectly manicured fingers. Just ask the unfortunate few who have crossed her.
For April Bowers, Britney is also the answer to her prayers. With zero friends and nothing close to a boyfriend, April is so unpopular, kids don’t know she exists. That is, until Britney notices her. One lunch spent at Britney’s table, and April is basking in the glow of popularity.
But Britney’s friendship comes with a high price tag.
How much is April willing to pay?
“The Lipstick Laws is pure gold. It’s the book for every girl or boy out there who wanted to fight back when the ‘popular’ girls tore them down but didn’t know how to.”–Lauren’s Crammed Bookshelf
“With a determined, believable protagonist, plenty of not-so-nice girls and an amusing storyline, The Lipstick Laws is fun, flirty, and surprisingly full of heart.”–YA Book Queen
“Now this is what YA is all about!!! With such witty humor, once I started, I didn’t stop reading until I was finished! Yes, it was that good! Did I say good? It wasn’t good, it was fantabulous!”–Uniquely Moi Books
“Amy Holder wrote a fantastic and cute debut that will surely attract a variety of readers. I can’t wait to see what’s next for her!”–The Book Scout
“Ms. Holder is definitely a fresh new voice in the young adult market.”–Fiktshun
Released: April 4, 2011
About the author:
Amy Holder is a writer, artist, animal lover, chocolate addict and Lipstick Lawbreaker. With an educational background in psychology, she has experience working with teens and children. Originally from Upstate New York, Amy currently resides in the Philadelphia area with her verbally challenged sidekicks (pets). You can visit her at www.amyholder.com.
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